Outlast: The Day Dan Shit His Pants

So, Friday night, Dan and I sat down to play Outlast. Big deal. We ain't nu pussy's, yo!

As the game started, Dan let out a little bitch scream, which is fine, Outlast is a scary game, I get it, we all get it, it's human nature to be scared of a ridiculously dirty and highly dangerous insane asylum, where the patients have been experimented on, leaving them even more crazy, with your blood and death their only cause of relief, and all you have at hand is a video camera.

Unfortunately, the game had literally just loaded, and a fly flew on the wall next to Dan and he shit his pants. Much to my amusement.

Now, we had filmed all this, we set the mic up, did a few tests with the mic so that we could find the best place to sit, we did everything. Except check that Fraps wouldn't record the game audio and the microphone audio in one little overbearing package. So, after forcing Dan to have a panic attack for 20 minutes, we were left with a video that may have be a silent walkthrough, as you can only hear us every now and then; usually when Dan is screaming.

So, instead, I've decided to list my favourite times Dan pooped his keggles (in no particular order).

Fly On The Wall: Only Dan could get scared of a fly. It was so small, that when I turned my head to see why he was shaking, I couldn't even see it.

Turning On The Camera: If you've played Outlast, you'll know the camera is your only tool and a very precious one at that, using the night vision mode to see in pitch black rooms is essential. All I did was turn it on too see in a room and Dan screamed. A camera! The dudes like 6 foot 5!

Coming Out Of A Locker: During our playthrough, we came to a point where we were told by the prompt on the screen, to hide in a locker; so we did. Some burly monster looking patient came in, looked around and left, so I came out of hiding, prompting Dan to yell "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" as he crawled into a ball.

Patients Watching A Broken TV: I'll be honest, this bit freaked me out too. Three patients in a room, watching static on a TV (plus some funky blood stains) which we had to sneak past. The thing was, they didn't seem phased we were there, but we were both waiting for them to just freak out and jump us.

WheelMan: Just before the bit above, we came across a guy in a wheelchair, who did nothing; until we got out of the room with the three patients; then he lunged at us, causing Dan to combust into a pile of his own piss.

Some Stairs: Exploring the asylum, I felt the need to go down some dark and downright nasty looking stairs. Dan didn't share my thoughts "WHY WOULD YOU GO DOWN THERE?!? LOOK AT IT! IT'S DARK!" so I didn't.

Until we had been everywhere else and realised we had to go down there.

Opening A Toilet Stall: Dan didn't wan't me to open one of the cubicle stalls in the bathroom "NO GOOD COMES FROM OPENING TOILET DOORS!"
He was right to be honest.

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